Terminate the IdiotBoys
by Avaryc
Summary: A writer collaberation. After being captured by the Tallest, Zim and Dib become space outlaws!
1. Captured? How Did This Happen?

Today, Dr. Hazel and her sister MokieMorty are writing together! (Smile) So read and enjoy!

MokieMorty says: "If you think this first chapter seems a little rushed... Think about the show itself for a minute. O.o But, if that doesn't calm you, don't worry! Things only get better as stories progress. So... Yup."

(Oh, and we don't own Zim or Dib or the Irken race. Xp)

* * *

"Ha! Foolish Earth-stink!" Zim laughed at Dib as he reeled in pain on the ground. "That was for the jelly-beans!" Zim screamed. 

"Geez, Zim!" Dib said trying not to focus on the pain emitting from his lower body, where Zim's foot had come in contact with only a few seconds earlier. "That was two weeks ago!"

"No it wasn't!" Zim yelled jutting his lower jaw out. "It was one week, five days, and six hours ago!" He said pointing an accusing finger at the crumpled up body in front of him. Dib's eyes narrowed awkwardly.

"You kept track?"

"Yes."

"You're a moron." Dib stated plainly.

"No I am not!" Zim shouted in defense.

"Whatever, Zim." Dib got up, to continue his walk home. "You just keep saying that."

"What is that supposed to mean!?" Zim's eyes narrowed. "Do you want Zim to kick you in your disgusting Earth-body-sacks again!?"

"What!? No!" Dib looked angrily at Zim. "Go away." He continued walking.

"Very well… I will go away, but you must not interfere with Zim's plans tonight!" Zim said proudly to himself.

"Plans? What plans are you making Zim?"

"Same plans I always do!" Zim stated the obvious. "World domination!" Zim smiled. "My amazing plans, of amazing goodness…" His 's' sound was elongated like the sound a train made when it was coming to a stop.

"Can't you… Ya know? Maybe… Not, try taking over the Earth tonight?" Dib was obviously growing bored with Zim's constant attempts at world conquest. It was the same thing for him, over, and over, and over again. He would defeat Zim, try to expose him, but fail miserably. The boy grew tired of the same game. He needed a change, just for a little while.

"Why?" Zim asked.

"Because. This is getting a little to repetitive. I'm bored." Dib stated.

"Bored!? HA! Pathetic Earth-creature. Your boredom will be this planet's downfall! Haha!" Zim paused, seeing how he got no reaction from Dib, he threw his hands up in the air and started pouring out his latest plan. "I've built an amazing machine! One so amazing, you'll be so amazed… That…" Zim thought for a minute. "That you'll be in awe!" Dib cocked an eyebrow at Zim's choice of redundant words and just kept walking. "Don't you want to know what it does?" Zim asked.

"No Zim. Not really." Dib stopped at his front door, and shook his head.

"What!? Why not!?" Zim was shocked that Dib was just giving up on him. Just like that!

"I already told you, Zim, I…" Dib's voice trailed off, and his eyes narrowed and his head was turned to the sky.

"What?" Zim asked, not bothering to look behind him until Dib pointed out to the street. Zim spun around, and there, in the street, was maroon Voot Cruiser! No, it was not Zim's, this one was much to big. "What on Irk?" Zim looked confused, and Dib just as much. Soon, a tall Irken figure exited the cockpit of the dark ship.

It was a tall Irken, with Purple eyes. He carried a long pointed staff with him. "Irken, Zim?" He asked in a monotone voice.

"Yes, I am Zim." Zim nodded.

"Good. You, I-"

"Who are you!?" Dib asked while interrupting the new alien before him.

"That is not important, alien." The purple-eyed alien hissed at the ill-mannered boy before him. "Irken Zim, I have been instructed to retrieve you for deactivation." Zim's eyes widened at what he was hearing. "You can come quietly, or you can put up a fight. Either way, our departure from this planet is inevitable." The Irken pointed his staff at Zim threateningly.

"Deactivation!?" Zim yelped, "Zim doesn't want to expire!" Zim complained to the taller Irken. "Why is Zim being deactivated?"

"You are defective. The tallest have decided that all Irken defectives are going to be deactivated for the good of the planet, and the safety of the Tallest. Also, you're very annoying." The alien stated. While reaching out to grab Zim.

"No!!!" Zim shrieked and grabbed Dibs by the leg as he was being dragged off. "Zim doesn't want to go!!! Zim has a mission, still!"

"Nya! Let go! Zim! Let go!" Dib hollered, as he was dragged of with Zim.

If the larger Irken ever noticed Dib's shrieks, or even his presence, he ignored it, continuing to drag his intended prey to the ship. The Irken shoved the two into the back of his ship, and several bars fell from the ceiling, creating a cage. The cage separated the passengers from the driver.

"Wait!" Dib pleaded, "You gotta let me out! I'm not Zim! I'm not supposed to be here!" Dib tried to explain. The unnamed Irken seemed to be deaf to all Dibs pleas. "This is all your fault, ZIM!" Dib spat. They had already exited Earth's atmosphere.

Now even Zim seemed to be ignoring poor Earth-child, to distracted by his own defiant screams. It was deafening. "ZIM DOES NOT DESERVE DEACTIVATION!!! I want to liiiiiiiiive!!!" He howled.

Still, the taller Irken ignored Zim's pitiful pleas, dead set on his mission of return.

"You can't do this!" His voice cracked slightly. "There has to be some mistake!"

"Yeah, there is." Dib mumbled. "I'm here."

"Are you all you can think about right now!?" Zim cried. "The mighty Zim is going to perish, and all you care about is your filthy human self!"

"I don't even like you." Dib replied. "Much less care about you."

To this, Zim simply grumbled an unintelligible phrase, most likely an insult (Or just moaning.) before turning back to his desperate cries. "The Tallest need me! I'm the only one with any knowledge of this horrible planet!" He motioned behind him, hinting at the little planet they'd just left.

"You don't know anything about it." Dib retorted.

"Stay out of this, Dib-beast!" He growled.

"You can beg, and whine, and cry, and scream all you want, Zim." The taller Irken finally spoke, simply to alleviate the constant screams and shouts. "I have a mission. The tallest sent me to bring you back to Irk for your execution."

"'Irk'?" Dib questioned, unsure of whether to be excited or terrified.

"You can go out with some honor, or you can continue to scream and deny your doom." All the while, his voice was unnervingly monotone. He turned to Dib, who still worn a torn, confused expression. "As for you, horrible, ugly alien-"

"Dib." The human corrected.

The Irken simply continued, not bothering to correct himself. "You will be used for study of your race. You will be questioned, then dissected."

To that, the confusion was over-taken by shock. "Why!?"

The Irken simply shrugged and went back to ignoring him.

Under any other circumstances, Zim would be snickering at his semi-retribution for all that the Earth-child had put him through, but not today. Today, he was more concerned with his own well-being then revenge.

"Zim is not defective!" Zim continued where he left off. "At least not this one! You must have me confused with… The… Uh… _Other_ 'Zim'!" He smiled to himself at his own 'cleverness'.

The Irken glanced back from his piloting for a moment. "No, I'm pretty sure you're the right one." He turned back.

Zim began to make random noises of frustration and fear. "This is an outrage! Release me now!!!" He shouted. "Please?"

"No."

For the remainder of the trip, Dib sat back in the corner, dwelling on how to escape his demise, while Zim continued his barrage of threats, pleas, guilt-trips, and whatever else he could think of. Even when his voice went hoarse, and his throat exhausted, he still continued.

Three days passed before they'd arrived on Irk.

(Hey, who knows how long Zim was floating around out there in the first episode. Besides, this guy's got connections… Light speed!)

"Pleeeeease?" Zim tried one last time as the Irken dragged them out of the Cruiser, after outfitting them with some sort of alien-looking hand-cuffs.

He pulled the two along calmly and unceremoniously, almost as if they weren't even there. "Man, that one is annoying." The tall Irken stated while handing them over to a burly green-eyed Irken.

"Hm. The tallest won't want to miss his execution. I'll have to alert them of this ones capture." The green-eyed alien said while eyeing Zim. His glance shifted to a pale and hungered Dib. "What is this thing?"

"Hm. 'Found it with the defective. I thought the scientist would get a kick out of experimenting on this one." Spoke the purple-eyed alien. "'Looks a little… dead though… Might need some food. Or something."

"He can eat when he has been secured. Take him to the prison." The burly Irken pointed to a holding cell. "Both of them can use the same cell. We're running out of room."

"Very well." Saluted the Purple-eyed alien, as he lead them to a rather small holding cell.

"Wait!" Zim cried out once again.

His voice was beginning to burn holes through the Irken's brain. "No." And with that, the two were shoved through the door, as a flat-laser field fell to lock them in.

Zim growled. "This is all your fault, Dib!" His voice was almost strained, but he still managed to force malice into it.

"How's it my fault?" He questioned, almost starting to ponder, before realizing it made no sense.

Zim paused. "I hate you!"

"This is your fault!" Dib retorted. "_I_ shouldn't even be here! _You_ brought me here!"

"So?"

"I hate you." He turned away from him, crossing his arms. "We need to get out of here…" His eyes searched the small room, prying for any means of exit.

"'_We_'?" Zim scowled.

Dib turned to him again. "Fine, _I_ have to get out! I'll just leave you here." He thought for a moment. "Once I figure out how to get out…"

"And then where will you go, Earth-worm?" Zim sneered. "You can't even get yourself a ship, much less fly your way out of here."

"And I suppose _you_ could?"

(I don't overuse italics.)

"Yes, yes I could. I could do it very well, in fact!"

"I'd like to see you try!" He said with a slight laugh.

"To bad, you won't be able to see it from your cell. HA!" He filled the laugh with evil.

Through a small shaft in the wall, a tray seemed to slide in from the other side, though there seemed to be no hole for the food to come through. But, when you're hungry enough, you don't notice details like this. And Dib certainly was hungry.

There was even a small bottle with the 'food'. It was filled with some strange dark green liquid, which could be assumed as some sort of soda. Dib gratefully chugged the thick, sticky liquid, following it with the granular chunk of matter which he almost knew was food. (Had his hunger not overpowered his taste-buds, he probably wouldn't have made it passed the liquid.)

He took in a slow breath, filled with new strength. "Okay…"

Zim simply nibbled at his un-naturally shaped chunk, before dropping it. "I don't like it! It tastes like…" He paused, searching for the right comparison. "Something I don't like!"

Dib cocked an eyebrow at his foolish nemesis, but continued to choke down the chunky block of food. As soon as Dib finished eating, the burly Irken had walked down to their cell; a menacing look on his face.

"I've contacted the Tallest. They've been informed of your capture, and have set course back to Irk." He sneered. "They should be here in about a day, so don't get to comfortable." He wandered back down the hall.

"One day!?" Zim repeated in confusion. "Did you hear that, Meat-stink!?"

"I did." Dib replied. 'More time to think of how to escape.' He thought hopefully.

Zim watched the other alien lurch off. "Now… We need a plan…"

"Oh, now it's 'we' again?" Dib scoffed.

"Only if you think of something first!" Zim was quick to inform him.

Again, Dib cocked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"So…" He began casually, as though nothing out of the ordinary was going on. "Got any ideas?"

"That depends…" Dib began. "Are all Irkens as… Intelligent as you?"

Zim didn't seem to catch the double meaning of the sentence.**

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YOU WILL REVIEW!!! (Force Persuade)


	2. Woo! And Then We Escaped

Thank you to our **ONE** reviewer, **_DemonSurfer_**! Hope you enjoy our next chapter!

* * *

"Hey, you!" Zim called, pointing at a nearby Irken guard. Conveniently, he seemed to be the only one around. 

"What?" He asked, in a rough, low voice.

"Could you look at this?" Zim seemed to magically produce a sandwich from his Pak. Dib could only wonder how it hadn't gotten lost in the gears and wires that must've filled the thing. "There's a bug on my sandwich."

"Hey, where'd you get that?" The guard asked suspiciously as he approached the cell.

"Get what?" Zim asked, sound oblivious and innocent.

The guard moved closer to the cell. "That sandwich." He now stood directly in front of the laser field that blocked their exit.

"This sandwich?" He motioned to the object in his hands.

The guard nodded.

"Come closer." Zim wiggled a finger to signal his need. "I'll tell you."

The guard leaned down cautiously to Zim's height, cocking an eyebrow curiously at the Irken's antics.

With no warning at all, Zim thrust his gloved hand through the lasers, burning through the black fabric and ripping at the end of his sleeve, searing his skin. But as quickly as his hand moved out, it clutched the guard's antennae roughly, and pulled him back through the laser. He never wasted a millisecond.

An arch formed below the guard, where his body blocked the above-projected laser the way a shadow cuts through sunlight.

"Now, Dib!" Zim motioned quickly towards the newly created exit.

Dib dashed out quickly, his heels almost clipped by Zim's closely following feet. The two left the guard flailing and twitching in pain on the ground as Zim moved to pass Dib. He lead him down the hall, filled with more cells.

"This way!" He shouted.

Every hallway they turned down seemed the same to Dib. Had they gone through this many hallways on the way in? He couldn't even remember.

Things seemed to move past him so fast as he sped through the halls, focusing on nothing but Zim's quickly moving figure.

Finally, they reached what Dib could only assume was the hanger, as many ships lay waiting within. Ships of many sizes and builds.

Despite himself, and his general surroundings, Zim grinned like a drug-addict at a pharmacy. He slowed his pace to a casual stroll as he observed his selection of ships. Dib followed behind, trying to calm his nerves while rushing Zim along.

Zim's smile grew when he came upon a nice little ship. It was small, but still comfortable to fit three of four people. (Dib didn't understand the necessity of all that space, but he didn't complain.)

Just as Zim grabbed at Dib's shirt collar to pull him into the ship with him, a calm voice called to them.

"Hey."

There stood a small Irken, slightly taller then Zim and Dib. She cocked her head to side inquisitively, while adjusting the goggles that fit over her green eyes.

"Is this your ship?" She asked.

"Uh… Why, yes. It is!" Again, Zim went to pull Dib along.

"Oh good." She stopped them with a smile, scratching at her curly antennae she began to explain the condition of the ship. "Because I just finished up the engine work, but the compensators are acting kinda like-"

Zim waved his good hand in her face. "Yes, yes, it's fine." He leaped into the ship after clutching Dib again. He began starting the engines quickly. Without another second of delay, Zim flung the ship out of the hangar, and into the sky less void of space.

"Hey, Lix." Another Irken female suddenly chimed. "Weren't those the alien and the defective?" The mechanic gave her a blank look. "The two that just escape?" her ruby eyes narrowed. "Like, five minutes ago?"

"Oh. I dunno." Was all she said, with a light shrug.

"Eh… Whatever."

* * *

A nervous Irken jittered as he waited for the Tallest's faces to appear on the large screen.

"What is it now, cell guard drone?" Red's irritated voice sounded as the static cleared from the screen.

"Er… There was an… Incident… In the detention building today..." He replied.

"An incident?" Purple chimed.

"What kind of incident?" Red asked, cocking a suspicious eyebrow.

"Er… Three prisoners escaped."

"'Three'!?" The two mimicked in shock.

"Yes, sir." The alien saluted, needing to move his hands in some way to hide his tension. "An alien and two defectives… One of which was…"

"_Zim_…" It wasn't a question.

"Yes, my tallest." He answered anyways.

* * *

OH!!! _Three_? Bet you all can't guess who the third one is!!! Plot twist! Oh! Read and reveiw please! Or I might not have the strength to submit the next one. Mokie and I already have the next chapter typed out, but we want reveiws! Cause we, like the Tallest, want what we want! So um... Yeah. You need to give it to us. 


	3. My Sandwich! Not Yours!

Dr. Hazel: YES! We got some more reviewers! Thanks for reading and reviewing! You guys deffinantly make us happy! Now we have more writing f or you! Hope you enjoy it!

MokieMorty: And if you don't, we'll cry for a really long time. And then get over it. And then post the next part, anyways.

Also, we don't own any of these characters.

* * *

"They think me defective?" The Irken mumbled quietly, while moving into position to take off in a (mostly likely stolen) cruiser. "I'll show them…" The voice came in a quiet, calculating whisper.

* * *

"Woo! We made it!" Dib exclaimed while excitedly throwing his fists up in the air. "Now we can go back to Earth!" He smiled successfully.

"I don't think so Dib-Human." Zim argued.

"What? Why not!?" Dib was now very frustrated with Zim.

"We're wanted now." Zim explained.

"Um, if I'm not mistaken… It's** YOU** they're after. I was just an after thought."

"I don't care! We're not going back." Zim crossed his arm defiantly. "I'll just dump you on some planet and leave you to ROT!"

"What!? You can't do that!" Dib protested. "I helped you escape!"

"Zim provided the sandwich." He retorted, arms still crossed.

"But I came up with everything else!"

"But it wouldn't have worked without the sandwich." It was now that Zim seemed to remember the sacrifice of his skin. He quickly pulled the burnt hand away from it's resting point to stare at it. "That was your fault, you know."

Dib simply glared at him. "I don't care who's fault it was!"

"Yours." Zim quickly coughed before Dib could continue.

"No matter what you say, you **OWE** me!"

Zim seemed to considered this for a moment, searching the depths of his superior Irken mind.

* * *

Dib tumbled out of the ship, landing harshly on his face. He could hardly even push himself back up, with his hands tied behind his back.

Zim laughed at him. "Have fun, Dib-weasel!" He through his head back to laugh again as the wind-shield fell shut, and he zipped off into the sky.

Dib simply watched in half confusion and half malice. He was just left stranded, possibly in the middle of nowhere, on an unfamiliar planet, by his alien nemesis.

And then, he grinned. He saw this coming, and he had a brilliant trick up his sleeves.

(Or, to be more precise, in his pocket.)

* * *

After a few hours of floating through space, plotting his next destination, Zim noticed something. Something horrible.

"Wait a minute…" He ran his eyes quickly around the room to confirm his horrible suspicion. Realization crashed onto him like a tidal wave. "That miserable Earth-worm took my sandwich!!!" He cried out in pure rage. "That insolent monkey! He dare take ANYTHING from the mighty ZIM!?"

* * *

Dib simply leaned against a nearby structure, his hands still bound behind his back and his eyes to the sky. He knew Zim couldn't stand the though of Dib having anything that had once belonged to the 'mighty' Irken.

"Even if it is just a sandwich." He thought aloud to himself, with a chuckle.

Soon, however, his moment of basking in his geniuses-ness ended, when he realized that the metal structure behind him was not stationary. A ramp lowered right behind him, landing directly on top of him.

While he sat under the ramp, rubbing at his newly injured head, a platoon of Irkens approached, most of them large and intimidating, but none quite so tall as the two they seemed to be escorting.

Dib poked his head out from underneath the ramp, instantly recognizing the two. They were the leaders of the Irken Empire. The 'Tallest' as he'd heard them been called. And they were, indeed, tall.

Though, for all their 'royalty' and whatnot, they seemed rather lax. More like two brothers on a walk then the leaders of an entire civilization being escorted home.

One of the escorts red eyes flickered, but since Irkens don't have pupils, Dib could only assume it was in his direction. He froze on the spot, hoping desperately that his assumption was wrong.

It wasn't.

"You!" The escort pointed towards him, as two other sprung out in front, closing the distance at impossible speed.

Dib barely had time to react before the two Irkens picked him up by his arms, and dragged him towards the 'Tallest'.

"An alien spy?" Asked one of the escorts.

"What? No! I'm no spy!" Dib defended, attempting to struggle his way out of their grasp.

"Then what are you?" The purple-eyed tallest cocked an eyebrow as he asked.

"And what are you doing sneaking around our ship?" The red one tacked on before an answer came to mind.

"I was… Er… Waiting for someone." Was the best excuse the boy could come up with. (Because it was the truth.)

"Oh you were, were you?" Purple replied suspiciously.

"Escort Platoon Drone three-sixty-four?" Red called, turning his head to the nearest escort, who saluted. "Please outfit him with a tracking device, and take him to the holding cell bay."

"What!?" Again, Dib began to struggle against the strong arm that held him, as the escort-drone darted off to the ship.

"Don't think you can fool us, alien!" Red hissed. "You're the one who escaped, aren't you?"

"But you had no reason to keep me there!" He moaned.

"Well, now we do." Red crossed his arm superiorly.

"You escaped, and that's illegal." Purple finished, punctuating his sentence with a brief nod.

"But tha-" Before he could argue his invalid-by-force opinion, he felt a large needle jab into his arm. He let out a loud scream, and lashed at the newly-returned escort-drone, who had apparently been implanting the tracking device.

In the pain of the moment, Dib managed to pull an arm free to smack at the offending Irken. The sudden movement seemed to startle the second one who held him in place, who dropped him to the ground.

"Hey, he just assaulted one of our escorts!" Purple yelled. Not that he particularly cared for the escorts or anything.

"Seize him!" Red yelled as Dib made a break for it. "Again!"

Dib could hear the majority of the group charging behind him, gaining on him with every step. He glanced back for just a split second to see how close they were. And a split second was all it took.

He suddenly felt his body impact something. He turned his head to see Zim, standing before him, almost un-phased by the sudden slamming.

"You…" He sounded more evil now than he ever did when trying to take over the Earth. His glove had been replaced, and his ship remained parked behind him, the windshield still up to allow quick access. "You stole my sandwich."

"Yeah, good to see you to." Dib grabbed at the alien's antennae and leapt into the ship, pulling him along. He hardly noticed Zim's screams of protest and pain. "No time to talk!"

Zim growled as Dib finally let go of him to search for the correct buttons. This wasn't at all like Tak's ship. Zim looked back to see what all the hurry was for.

"The Tallest's escorts!?" He cried. "What did you do, worm-beast!?" He slapped a hand over one of the many buttons on the control panel.

"I don't know!" He moaned as the engines kicked in and plunged them into space. "I was just waiting for you, whe-"

"YOU _**THEIVING**_ STINK-CREATURE!" With that as his only warning. Zim launched himself at Dib, hands ready to choke the life out of him. "I want my sandwich back!" He hissed.

"Okay, okay!" Dib called out, flailing his arms around violently. "Get off!" He pushed the Irken off.

"Give it to Zim!!!" He held out his hands expectantly.

Dib merely rolled his eyes as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out the sandwich, to which Zim growled.

"You crushed it!" He snatched it, examining the flattened bread.

"Only because you tackled me!"

"I wouldn't have tackled you if you hadn't have taken it!"

"Would you just drop it!" Dib threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

"Feh!" Zim let out sounds of disgusts as he placed the sandwich back in his Pak. It's rightful place.

"Why did it matter so much if you weren't going to eat it?" Dib wondered. Zim didn't respond. Dib sighed and looked at the lump on his hand where the Irkens had placed a tracking device.

"What's that?" Zim suddenly questioned, while pointing to the bump on Dib's fist.

"Nothing!" Dib shouted while quickly pulling his fist behind his back.

"You foolishly, foolish, fool! You let them stuff you with a tracking device!?" Zim's lower eye lid twitched in anger.

"I didn't let them do it, they just-" He attempted to defend himself, but was quickly cut off.

"Give me your hand!"

"No! It's mine!" Dib cradled his hand defensively.

Zim growled, but then was suddenly silent. "Hm…" He stroked his chin in though, but suddenly his eyes went wide. "What on Irk is that!?" He pointed towards the windshield.

Dib turned his head away to examine the new threat, but found nothing.

Zim let out a loud laugh as he grabbed Dib's arm in his moment of confusion.

"Hey!" Dib shouted, feeling as though his personal space was violated. Because it was.

"Zim sacrificed his hand, now you can sacrifice yours." Zim replied, with a victorious smile. Again, he magically produced an object from his Pak, this time being a rather scary-looking alien device.

"But you still have a hand!" Dib shouted, again trying to free his hand from Zim's sharp grasp.

Zim just smiled calmly. "This is a super magnet." He began narrating. "It's going to suck the tracker right out of your flesh."

Dib looked rather disturbed. "Well, as long as I get to keep hand, I-AAH!" He screeched as Zim activated the machine. The tiny tracker was instantly torn from beneath his skin. It left a gaping hole in his skin, but the lump was gone.

"Victory for Zim!" He shouted with a bright smile.

Dib cradled his hand gently as he watched Zim smash the device. "Now what?" He asked once the deed was done.

Zim looked contemplatively out the windshield. "Now… I have my sandwich back." He turned to scowl at the human. "So I can leave yo-"

"No, wait!" Dib waved his arms in front of his, gesturing for Zim to stop. "You can't!"

"Why not, Dib-worm?" He asked again. "Give me one good reason why I should."

"Because I helped you." Seemed to be the only excuse he could think of.

"That was the past, Earth-stink!" Zim retorted. "Give me something that will be worth my while."

Dib pondered this for a moment. "Can you really live with the guilt of leaving me to die?" He asked, almost sure he would get him this time.

"Ha! Stupid human emotions." Zim grinned. "I have no guilt."

"You can't leave me, because you told me vital information… I could just give it away to them." He bluffed. He hoped that Zim was stupid enough to believe him.

"I did?" Zim asked. His red eyes widened in confusion, and Dib nodded. "What did I tell you?" He wondered.

"I don't have to tell you. All I have to do is tell them."

"I hate you, Earth-Dib."

* * *

Oh, in the next chapter, you get to learn who this mysterious person is… Woopee! Though I'll bet most of you have figured this out already… XD 


	4. Now What?

Thank you to all our lovely reveiwers!!! You all rock!

We don't own anything you're about to witness.

* * *

"Hello, my _Tallest_!" She used the word as though it were a curse. "Remember me? From Devastes?" 

The twin tallest stared into the vaguely familiar eyes of an ex-invader-in-training.

"Oh yeah." Purple replied, the tenseness of the situation suddenly falling away, leaving him bored, as though it were just another report call. Or something. "Uh… 'Tak', was it?"

"Yes."

"You're a defective." Red narrowed his eyes at the defective scum. "You're the other who escaped, aren't you?"

"I am." She replied. "I am not, however, a filthy defective." She spat. "You thought I was so promising back when I was in training…"

The two tallest looked at each other, as if to ask each other for confirmation on the claim. Neither could recall.

"And now, I intend to clear my name." She clenched her fists in anger. "I shall prove to you that I am no 'defective'. I will do so by recovering Zim and his alien."

"You really think you can catch him?" Purple giggled.

"Do you have any idea how many others are already hunting him?" Red asked. "They'll soon be hunting you, as well."

Tak began to chuckle a deep, low, chuckle, which soon sprouted into insane laughter. Again, the two taller ones looked at each other, trying to understand the humor in the situation.

"We'll see, Tallest. We'll see." She said finally, with a smirk. "Invader Tak, out." She whispered as the transmission ended.

* * *

"We need to get some resources, I'll have to stop back at Earth, besides, you and your… human-self will be just fine there on Earth. I'll drop you off there." 

"No way! They'll know to look there! That's my home planet!" Dib protested. "I'm sticking with you."

Zim emitted a growl out of frustration. "Fine."

Zim landed at his home base, rushing to his lab. "We don't have much time! If you need anything, you'd better find it! Now hurry up!" Zim shouted, as if all the words were one. With that said, Zim entered his lab through the garbage can.

"HIYA, MASTER!" Gir cheerfully greeted his master as he popped out of seemingly nowhere.

He'd almost forgotten about the idiotic device. "Gir, quit playing around! We have to get out of here!" He demanded, while making his way to the storage 'room'.

"What for?" He almost seemed like he understood. "I like home!" He smiled.

Zim wondered for a moment if Gir could even understand the terribleness of the situation. "We're being hunted, Gir."

"Like the fish on TV!?" He asked enthusiastically.

Zim stared at him for a moment. "We're going on vacation."

"WOOOOOOO!" Gir threw his little metal arms into the air and ran off, presumably to pack up.

Zim shook his head. He didn't even know why he felt the need to bring his little henchmen along. Honestly, he was growing on him, like some kind of parasite, but Zim would never admit to it.

He sighed as he stuffed two space-suits into his bag, which looked suspiciously like a garbage bag. He stopped himself.

Two space suits?

He shook his head again. He also had no idea why he felt Dib deserved any more help then he managed to threaten out of him.

Zim continued to shove things into his bag. He hadn't the time to pack up the entire base, nor did he have a place to set his lovely base back up. More likely then not, they'd be running for a long while. There was no time to set up an immobile base.

* * *

"Gaz!?" Dib called as he shot through the front door. He stood a moment, waiting for her response and trying to catch his breath. 

"What?" She never took her eyes off her GameSlave.

"I'm being hunted by an alien race, and I need to leave Earth!" He hoped to spark at least a small bit of recognition from his demented little sibling.

"Uh-huh." Was the closest thing he got. She obviously didn't believe him. Or maybe she just didn't care.

"I'm serious!" He cried.

She let out a sound resembling the death-growl that an attack-dog would make.

Dib just sighed and darted up the steps. He didn't even know how long he would be gone. Or if he'd ever come back.

Pushing that thought out of his mind, he began packing.

* * *

"Hurry it up, Dib-stink!" Zim called out, shaking his fist. 

Gir looked around the room for a moment, as though looking for him. "He's not here." He sounded deep in his confusion.

"Gir, shut-up." Zim snorted.

Gir just smiled at him, as though it were a compliment.

It was then that Dib charged through the door, obviously rushed by the fact that at any moment, some kind of Doom-Cannon could shoot from the sky and end his life in a few, painful milliseconds.

"It's about time, human!" He hissed. "Do you know how long I've been waiting?"

Without thinking, Dib looked to his watch. "About six minutes?" He replied breathlessly.

"Yes! Now hurry up!" Zim snapped. "The armada could show up any minute, and they'll break down that door, and they'll take me and you, and your filthy head, and-"

"Okay!" Dib interjected. "I get it!"

"Good!" Zim shouted, a bit louder then necessary. "Enough idle chatter! We must get to the cruiser!" The floor beneath him began to raise, and Dib had to jump and climb up onto the floating platform. Zim was obviously not in a waiting mood.

Gir hovered up next to him, a tiny suit-case in hand, and gave a stupid smile. "We're going on vacation!"

"I've set the base to self-destruct on my command." Zim narrated, as he often did. "We can't leave any evidence."

"Evidence of what?" Dib asked. "They already know you used to live here, an-"

"You dare question me at such a crucial moment!?" Zim cut in suddenly. "I have no time to explain my reasonings!"

Dib simply shrugged. "Whatever you say."

"Good. Now get in the ship." Zim commanded as he climbed in.

Dib and Gir quickly followed.

"They wouldn't destroy this planet if we weren't here, would they?" Dib asked as Zim began warm-up procedures.

"Eh?" Zim glanced at him and shrugged.

Dib glanced wearily out the wind-shield as the roof of Zim's house began to open, showing the small neighborhood that he'd lived in all his life. Suddenly, thoughts of doubt filled his mind, but were dashed as soon as the ship lurched off into the sky.

Dib reassured himself, telling himself that the Armada surly wouldn't waste fire-power on this planet. He recalled Tak mentioning that they never thought the planet was valuable.

But then why send an invader?

He pushed the doubt out of his mind as he turned to Zim, who simply stared at the controls, a lost look on his face.

"I want a soda."

"What?" Dib cocked an eyebrow at Zim's sudden declaration.

"Hm? Huh?" Zim looked up, remembering the Dib's presence. "I want a soda, but I didn't bring any." He leaned back and sighed, as though it were such a depressing thought.

Dib stared at him, fascinated at how any creature could be so oblivious.

"I want one too!" Gir called in agreement.

"We don't have any!" Zim shouted angrily.

Dib just shook his head. Suddenly, as he often did in such moments of clarity, he wondered why he ever thought Zim was a threat.

"Maybe you are defective…" Dib mumbled.

Zim's eyes widened as he suddenly began to scream, a wall of babbling gibberish and anger. Dib cowered in his seat as he watched Zim's little breakdown. And then suddenly he stopped. The picture of calm.

"You know, Dib." He began. "It's ironically funny how similar we are. But it's not funny." Dib cocked an eyebrow at the contradiction. "On your planet, you are considered 'defective', when you are not. And on my planet, I am considered defective, when I am not. NOT!!!"

"That's a double negative…" Dib pondered out loud.

"NOT!!!" Zim added once more. He then cleared his throat nonchalantly. "You just keep your thoughts of my insanity to yourself, and I'll keep my thoughts of your insanity to myself."

Dib was almost frightened to speak again.

"Well, Dib-stink," Zim began again suddenly, after a moment of awkward quiet. "I need to think of some things UNINTERUPTED, so I'd prefer you were silent for a while." He turned to Gir. "Gir, sleep mode."

On command, the robot felt and began to snore, as though actually sleeping.

Hours passed as they silently drifted through space. It was almost a chilling silence. A silence that Dib wasn't used to. It seemed to have opened up the void that he normally filled by talking to himself, or some by-stander. However, he knew how unstable Zim was at the moment, and didn't feel like pushing his luck today.

Actually, he almost felt bad for Zim at this point. His whole race had betrayed him, called him crazy, and left him to fend for himself. This description seemed eerily familiar to Dib.

"Dib-human!" Zim suddenly interrupted his thoughts, causing him to jump slightly in surprise. "Why haven't you said anything!?"

"You told me to be quiet." Dib quietly replied.

"Oh. I did?" Zim pondered for a moment. "Well, you can talk now."

"Okay…"

But what were the two to say? They'd been arch-rivals since Zim had arrived on Earth, and now, all the sudden, they were sharing a cockpit to avoid the same fate.

"SPEAK!" Zim commanded. The silence was beginning to bother him, as well.

"Er… About what?" Was all Dib could think to say.

"Hm…" Zim eventually dropped the subject, and turned his attention back to his piloting. (Which he probably should have been paying attention to in the first place.)

More hours of dreary silence slipped by, the two simply watching the stars slowly pass.

"You know what?" Zim finally asked, after seemingly countless hours.

"Hm?" Dib replied. Not the most wordy response.

"I want a soda." Zim said once more. "Do you want a soda? I think I'll stop on that planet and get me a soda." He glanced at Dib. "You want one?"

"You're on the run, and the only thing you can think about is a soda?" Dib asked, cocking an eyebrow yet again.

"Yes." Zim said, as though it made perfect sense. "Is that a 'no'?"

Dib simply sighed. "Yes, it is." He crossed his arms and turned away.

Zim paused for a moment. "Okay." Was all he said.

"I wanna soda, toooooooo!" Gir cried, instantly waking from his 'nap'.

"Fine! I'll get you a soda!" Zim growled, as though it would be some great inconvenience. "Just be patient!"

It took only a few minutes to land, and as soon as the wind-shield came up to let them out, Dib let out a choked cough as the polluted air filled his lungs.

"Stay here, Dib-worm." Zim commanded as he and Gir climbed out of the ship. "I don't want your horrible, alien-ness to draw attention." He marched off without waiting for a reply.

As soon as Zim had left, Dib simply sighed and made himself comfortable. He leaned back in his seat, deep in thought about Earth. His home. The things he was giving up, all because of some stupid mistake. Zim's stupid mistake.

He pondered bitterly for a while, before unnoticingly drifting off to sleep. It has been a bad week.

* * *

Woo! Stick around and you'll see Zim do something really foolish... Hee hee hee... Thanks for reading, Now I command all you Earth-Monkeys to reveiw!!! 


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